Blog post brought to you by Laila Katie Helms
There’s a particular kind of friend that many of us know. The friend who reads many of the same books you do, asks the questions you used to ask, drinks deeply when you speak about the One Love like they’ve felt it a thousand times before — and yet, when you mention the word “Sufi,” does not pursue the subject. Not because they’re not on the path. It’s because they have not yet discovered that the path exists.
They’re closer than they realize. They’re already walking.
If you know someone like this — and most of us do — here’s something to note: they don’t need convincing. They need an opening that doesn’t ask them to be certain of anything, or make any declaration. They need an invitation, rather than an interrogation, or any hint of commitment. They need a taste, and a place to go for a deeper taste.
Skip the label, lead with the experience.
Instead of “You should really check out this Sufi gathering,” try “There’s a retreat in Florida this October — four days of deep spiritual teachings, real community, good food, time to just be still. I think you’d love it.” Let the gathering speak for itself. People who are already walking the path inwardly recognize it when they feel it, no matter what you call it.
Mention that newcomers are genuinely welcome.
A lot of newcomers assume gatherings like this are for insiders only — people who already know the terms, the etiquette, the history. They don’t want to feel like they’re crashing something sacred. They may feel self-conscious for not already knowing “what to do”. Let them know there’s an actual Newcomers Program built for exactly this: people new to the path, still finding their footing, still allowed to ask very basic questions.
Talk about the "why," not just the "what."
The theme this year is Deep Love — the love that love meets you wherever you are, and doesn’t let you stay stuck there. That’s not a hard sell. That’s just true of the Sufi path, and it’s the kind of thing that lands with someone who’s already quietly circling the door, waiting for a reason to walk through it. Help them understand how walking in community can help them experience the Deep Love anew.
Offer to go with them, or at least go together in spirit.
Half the fear of showing up somewhere new is showing up alone. If you’re going, say so. If you’re not, connect them with someone who is. A single familiar face in a room full of new faces changes everything. Find out who is going that is willing to be someone’s buddy, so you can put them in touch at registration if not before.
And if they still aren’t ready — let it be enough that you asked.
Not every heart is ready this year. Some just need to know the door is there and is propped open, gently, by someone who sees them clearly. That, too, is its own kind of Deep Love.
Look around your life. You probably already know who they are. This October in Fort Lauderdale, there is a chair in a room with their name quietly written into it. All they need is someone to say: come, let’s take a drink of the Deep Love.
About the importance of having a Newcomer's Program.
Check out the video below from Maryam Thea Elijah, one of our event organizers for the Newcomer’s program.