The Program’s Origin…
On February 4, 2024, Maryam Thea Elijah delivered a teaching on Forgiveness and Accountability in Community Life, which you can find here. Maryam received the feedback that it was a lot of powerful ground to cover in one hour, let alone put into practice! So she’s created an opportunity to discuss these teachings more thoroughly, with time to develop these skills together. We’ve It’s divided up into five sections:
Part 1: The Heavenly Grace of Forgiveness, and the Earthly Discernment of Accountability
It is not possible to explore, much less experience, healthy forgiveness in community life without first understanding the difference between forgiveness and accountability. Accountability is an earthly process; it involves looking clearly together at the difference between intention and impact, without shame or blame, and taking responsibility on both sides. Forgiveness, by contrast, is a grace that we cannot command; it is a gift that we receive from the Divine when our hearts ask for it, and open to it. It does not often come without accountability; it does not come without asking for it; and it does not come without openness to receive it.
This is a topic that is healing in all communities—but especially so in communities with significant power imbalance among members, and where relationship with the Divine is everyone’s primary locus of integrity.
Part 2: Walking Straight: Alignment and Morality
Accountability is not just something that happens when we’ve done something wrong. It’s a way of life that includes both morality and ethics. It reflects both our alignment and our relational awareness, from the heights of gnosis to the most basic matters of conduct here in the dunya.
In this session, we will explore the connection between alignment and morality. In the human body, the alignment is held in the heart at the level where the spine passes through. This is the moral compass of the heart, and it allows us to have an internal sense of straightness, even in situations that are not straight.
Blame and shame are obstacles to clarity in accountability. Together we will learn practices for releasing blame and shame from the alignment of the spine, so that we can stand accountable with simple uprightness.
Part 3: Embodied Ethics: Community Ecology and Awareness of Impact
Ethical awareness is not the same as moral compass. Our moral uprightness is not relational except with Allah. It’s the degree of alignment in our intention. By contrast, our ethical sense is all about impact.
Ethical accountability is responsible to the community ecology. Like moral accountability is responsible to Allah. Both happen through the heart, and can be cultivated through body.
In this session, we will participate in simple exercises that help us to develop our capacity to engage with embodied ethical awareness. It’s so loving!
Part 4: The Apology: Balancing Responsibility for Both Intention and Impact
How do we stand both morally and ethically accountable, and how do we call others to account without shame or blame? When we trigger shame and blame in each other—often without even realizing it—the accountability process can be very avoidably derailed.
We will practice negotiating truly satisfying apologies, which includes looking at the elements of an effective apology process, and learning to give clear feedback on what might be missing from the apology.
Part 5: Hard Feelings: Recognizing Hidden Obstacles to Resolution
Even when someone makes the most sincere and complete apology, sometimes our heart does not open right away. There may be hard feelings that don’t disappear on cue. It’s important to be
able to identify and work with heard feelings, because even if everything has been going very well up until this point, hard feelings can still throw the whole mediation into a ditch.
Hard feelings are more than just strong feelings; they are feelings that it is difficult to be honest about, even with ourselves, and that cause us to harden our heart, because otherwise, we just feel too vulnerable. The most important thing we can do is learn to recognize when this is happening!
It’s a mercy when we can say to the other person, “It’s not you; I have some hard feelings that I need to clear first, before my heart is ready to re-open.” When the healing comes, then the doorways of forgiveness open, too.
Important Notes
We Request You Fully Engage
All of these discussion/practice gatherings are interactive. Please come prepared to engage, with your camera on, present without multi-tasking. If you are not able to do so, then please view the recording later instead, insha’allah.
Please Be On Time
In order to minimize disruptions, we request that you join the class within the first 10 minutes. After that, entry into the class will not be permitted. If you are unable to join us at the beginning of class, you are welcome to watch the recording later, insha’allah.
Join Us
Dates: Wednesdays – Oct 30, Nov 13, 20, Dec 4, 18, 2024
Time: 11:00 am – 12:30 pm PT / 2:00 pm – 3:30 pm ET
Teacher: Maryam Thea Elijah
Meeting ID: 861 4606 0963
Passcode: 111111
One-tap mobile: +13052241968,,86146060963#,,,,*111111# US
Dial in: +1 305 224 1968 US
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