Salam
Im Ibrahim a brother in islam
started learn islam one year ago and it was all good from start but the more time went its feels unbearable and that i be punished
anyway i manage to avoid zina alcohol drugs gambling riba porn tattoo theft shirk pork sihr drawing living images mussawir disobey parents and just plan to start pray only jummahs fridays i listed so far what i avoid but i still feel i be punished cause i dont wanna repent stop some habits i have remain and its music masturbation and anal sex With spouse but anal sex With spouse is the main i dont wanna stop and i like always go to beach with spouse in bikni and dont wanna feel i must repent stop since i always have been on beach before i was start learn of islam but i Will maybe burn when i hear like all Sins have consequenses and it makes islam not Fun to practicing more
Ok lets be final clearcut Now im still gonna be punished for remain habits i have but not as much if i didnt leave major Sins zina alcohol drugs gambling riba porn
Is it good i avoid major Sins so why must i be at risk if dont repent stop remain habits just because i have my habits and lifestyle i dont accept at all i reject the idea to even be at risk for my lifestyle and this bad i feel one year now i have no motivation to even start pray jummahs too even if i plan before
Im muslim But i have a.more of western life than islamic and dont wanna Change it all and not feel like Now i Will be punished cause its not in line With islam even i avoid some like alcohol drugs gambling riba zina but i dont wanna stop go beach With spouse where we are not modest dressed like today swim shorts bikini and i wanna still listen to all music regardless and i dont want my partner to cover wear hijab just wear tight clothes jeans outside and not worry about be burn for it by Allah I wanna be myself
And i know its not all or nothing or perfection i know but i refuse to be punished or risk of punishment then allah is most unjust then since i dont wanna be religious i wanna keep lifestyle and not live in fear that i maybe be punished for and i listed have. My list of what i avoid its zina alcohol porn drugs riba gambling disobey parents drawing living images tattoo pork murder Shirk wear gold theft smoking sihr magic and crimes but i do anal sex with spouse music masturbate and looking at girls pictures not porn and go beach in bikini sir so Will i go hell still i dont wanna feel i must repent and stop the remain ones maybe not now but eventually and it doesnt fit well with me sir and im scared of punishment 24/7 like what if i dont stop these never since they are non negotiable for me
I wanna move forward and grow islam but it hinders me that for remain habits i dont wanna think i go hell for them cause i never wanna Change them at all and just keep them not worry about them so explain clearcut to the letter Now i know its not about perfection dont say it but still
want to keep certain habits (like anal sex with spouse, masturbation, music, beach with spouse in bikini).”
• “I’m not interested in changing these.”
• “I don’t do the major sins anymore (zina, alcohol, drugs, riba, etc.).”
• “So why should I still be terrified of hell?”
• “If I’m still punished despite my effort, it feels unfair and unbearable.
want to be myself. I don’t want to feel guilty. But I also don’t want to be punished for not feeling guilty or for not giving up my habits. Cant i just protect my effort so far sir and never worry about remain habits thats non negotiable for me cause my effort may be ruined as well so far if i snap and must i add more eventually in future even if i dont want to and must i reduce remain habits too i dont want to do it sir
I don’t want to give up these things, and I refuse to believe I should be punished for it. I won’t accept that outcome. I want to be myself, live my way, and not feel doomed. And cause of this i dont feel motivated follow learn islam more
But for remain habits that are. Not negotiable for me i dont wanna feel i be punished for them when i pass away
feel torn between wanting to hold on to mine lifestyle and avoiding punishment. It might seem impossible to have both.
I believe in Islam, but I have some personal things I never want to let go of, even if Islam says they’re wrong.
fear punishment is inevitable for me when islam is like this harsh.
Direct entry to Paradise without any punishment is considered rare, usually for those exceptionally close to Allah, whose sins were fully forgiven in this life through sincere repentance and effort.
Feeling like almost everyone faces some form of temporary punishment can be really heavy and discouraging.
if there’s a likely temporary punishment for even “minor” or remaining sins, it feels impossible to truly accept Allah’s mercy. That fear of punishment can overshadow the idea of mercy entirely.
refuse to repent for my remaining habits and don’t want any temporary punishment, no matter what
what’s scaring me most is the idea of even temporary punishment, not just eternal Hell. don’t want to imagine fire, even for a moment.
fear and weight of “remaining sins” has become overwhelming—so much that i feel trapped and can’t live a normal life. That feeling itself can be exhausting and depressing.
Im rejecting the idea that i must completely avoid certain acts or repent just to escape temporary punishment. I feel that this version of Islam doesn’t match mine sense of fairness or what i want for my life.
Why should something so personal and private deserve punishment at all? It doesn’t feel like it’s ‘Hell-worth.’”
in my heart it feels totally out of proportion that something so private could be linked to Hell.
Obsessive fears about Hell (especially over personal acts) has spiral into severe anxiety or depression
How big risk of hell have i and how big Sins are of mine remain i have compare to these i avoid
But islam is not all or nothing so i shouldnt be temporary burn for remain in this case or Will i which i total reject and Will not accept sir
No even if i see them as ok i dont deny islam i wanna se them as fine it doesnt ruin islam for it since i avoid biggest Sins like zina alcohol even if i see remain as ok and justify them i dont agree i should be at risk of it
Im carrying a heavy mix of anxiety, guilt, and fear, and it’s really weighing on mind and body. I described a clear conflict: i love my lifestyle and non-negotiable habits (anal sex, music, masturbation, beach with spouse), but the teachings of Islam around sin and Hell are creating severe, obsessive anxiety. I don’t want to stop these habits, and i also don’t want to live in constant fear of punishment, yet mind keeps cycling through “risk of Hell” thoughts. That tension is exhausting and can feel paralyzing. I cant break this cycle of fear
And for ex I wished that anal sex rule changed now and that it wasnt a major sin like now and wasnt a fixed permanent rule so i stop feeling doomed anymore the risk is i Will feel doomed all life cause of this and i dont wanna be scared when wanting to sleep with spouse how i want and not think about rules even in so private personal matter and go hell for it indeed unjust then sir
I cannot think my way out of it by reasoning alone because my emotional response is overpowering
I want it not to be heavy, because the label “major sin” feels like a crushing weight and makes me feel doomed. Sir
I can’t accept even temporary consequences, so I feel trapped And anxious and Will what i avoid so far as mentioned outweigh my remain habits sir it feels like im stuck all life sir
even if reality (in the view of Islamic law) says there’s a risk of punishment for anal sex, i refuse to accept it, and this refusal is blocking my ability to move forward in Islam
and the constant fear of burning, even temporarily, is crushing motivation to grow in Islam
What weighs me down most is not the sin itself, but the uncertainty — the “maybe punished, maybe forgiven.” That constant “what if” makes mind feel like it’s in prison.
i dont accept it i overthink that im scared i never wanna stop or repent from remain i have habits and not be burn but is it possible or. Not
i avoid
Gambling
Zina
Alcohol
Drugs
Porn
Crime
Theft
Murder
Shirk
Drawing living images
Tattoo
Pork
Riba
Sihr
Disobey parents
I Will start jummahs
But i do
Music
Anal sex with wife
Masturbation
And dont wanna plan to stop
Or repent for it and dont wanna add more things just to feel safe all i wanna do my friend is to hold on to effort not more
Ok i avoid SHIRK
ZINA
MURDER
PORN
RIBA
GAMBLING
THEFT
WEAR GOLD
PORK
DRAWING LIVING
ALCOHOL
DRUGS
TATTOO
DISOBEY PARENTS
SIHR
ROBBERY
CRIME
HOMOSEXUAL
SMOKING
KUFR
HYPOCRICY
DEBT
KEEP DOGS
Cant i keep remain habits without be punished if not stop and not repent Will i still risk hell despite avoid what i avoid of long list major sins i wanna keep remain habits and not possible go hell and i have some major sins as habits
I dont wanna it to torture me overthink wheter i risk hell or not or punished cause i keep remain habits i wanna keep still
Cant i keep remain habits without be punished if not stop and not repent Will i still risk hell despite avoid what i avoid of long list major sins i wanna keep remain habits and not possible go hell and i have some major sins as habits
I dont wanna it to torture me overthink wheter i risk hell or not or punished cause i keep remain habits i wanna keep still people keep do worse things than me i dont wanna feel when i do habits i punished either in grave or hell cause sins require repentence and i dont wanna repent for remain
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